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Sep 26
2005
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Folsom Street Fair 2005Posted by Lavender Lounge in Untagged |
This year's Folsom Street Fair weekend had just too many conflicting events. I had to make some difficult choices.
We went out with the Sisters on Friday night and hit South of Market with the many, many nuns that came in from out of town. While just standing around at the Lone Star, Sister Holly suddenly started vomiting right in front of us! It caught her by surprise as much as it surprised the rest of us. She blames on a hamburger she ate earlier, because someone else felt a little quesey, too.
And speaking of strange reactions - on Saturday night, the Sisters all met a Cafe Flore for our Conclave. Sister Bea loaded the pipe with something called "Salvia" something-or-other. She said it's from a variety of sage that was used by Shamen for rituals. Whatever. We all took a hit. A couple minutes later, with no warning, Saint Snow Cone started going into some sort of seizure! He was hunched over, stamping his feet, and babbling like he was talking in tongues. He looked frightened but couldn't tell us what was wrong. He didn't seem drunk, wasn't bleeding, was not nodding out, and wasn't grabbing his chest like a heart attack. Karin and I held him and talked him down. It took a few minutes, but he finally came back to reality to explain what happened. He said it was not an unpleasant experience, but he just wasn't expecting it. I predict there that as soon as some silly little girl freaks out on Salvia inside a club the media is going to jump all over this story. Right now it is sold over-the-counter at the little smoke shops in the Castro, so be careful!
So, the big day finally arrived - Folsom Street Fair! Most of the conversation from the weekend revolved around what each other was going to wear at Folsom Fair. Retardo The Wonderfuck, still a baby-nun, is still all excited about pursuing his new hobby - drag. For him and all the out of town nuns that only dress up once in a while, Folsom Fair is a big deal fashion-wise.
This time, I succombed to a bit of a "costume", pulled out an outfit I hadn't ever worn before, and viola - I'm a pirate! Arrrgh! It got old really quick, particularly since I mostly got attention from kids. Cute guys get turned off by costumes that are too cartoony. I hate being a clown, that's why I don't dress as a nun anymore. The only "costume" that really works at these events are those full-body suits made out of muscle - like the COLT guys wear.
And speaking of COLT Studio, after stopping by the Raging Stallion booth and the Hot House booth, I made a point of visiting COLT, but not for the porn stars. Fuck the porn stars, I wanted to meet Derek and Romaine from Sirius OutQ!
I emailed Derek and Romaine during the week to introduce myself and to try to get interviewed on their radio show, but got no response. When I met them in person, I got a bit of a chilly reaction, too. Odd. Maybe it was the pirate outfit. (Damn that rape-and-pillage reputation!) Or maybe I came on too strong as a shameless self promoter. (Note to self: think before you speak, especially when you're cranked up on pot brownies.) I still hope to get on their show if I haven't already ruined my reputation from the first impression.
To make up for my lukewarm first impression in front of Derek and Romaine, I made sure to take lots of pictures of them on stage with two COLT models. But wouldn't you know, I made another faux pas that will surely alienate Derek and give fuel to Romaine. I was taking a picture of the Sirius OutQ poster on stage and caught Derek's feet in the shot. When I went through the pictures, it struck me - oh oh, Derek is wearing brown shoes with black leather chaps. Eeeek. I think the fashion police should have written him a citation! I predict at least 15 minutes of banter just about brown shoes and black chaps!
But back to the other booths. At the Raging Stallion booth I got the pleasure of meeting their new "Hairy Boyz" superstar Hussein. Woof! He is quite a tight little package! I started snapping pictures fast in fear that he was just a dream that was about to float away! I'll think he'll be around a while, though, so I look forward to seeing more of him. I also got to see Manuel Torres again, but I don't think he remembered me from the last Raging Stallion party where we started to get a little friendly. I don't think he even knows it yet, but his site will be sponsoring Lavender Lounge Blog soon, so please patronize ManuelTorres.com!
I also got some great shots of the gay porn stars at the Hot House booth. Retardo has had a little crush on Jason Ridge ever since the Bad Boys Pool Party (can you blame him?), so I got him Jason Ridge's autograph. That's Nick Piston on the left with Jason Ridge, another six pack I'd love to lick!
For those of you who don't know the drill yet, I shoot tons of photos at events like Folsom Fair and build galleries in the VIP Room of Lavender Lounge. With 540 photos from JUST the 2005 Folsom Street Fair, that's only four cents a photo to become a VIP member of Lavender Lounge! But with a VIP membership, you get access to all my event photos, my Dirty Pictures galleries, the Groovy Guys vintage gay porn galleries, Muscle Bear Cub galleries, thousands of videos, yada yada yada. Join now!
We went out with the Sisters on Friday night and hit South of Market with the many, many nuns that came in from out of town. While just standing around at the Lone Star, Sister Holly suddenly started vomiting right in front of us! It caught her by surprise as much as it surprised the rest of us. She blames on a hamburger she ate earlier, because someone else felt a little quesey, too.
And speaking of strange reactions - on Saturday night, the Sisters all met a Cafe Flore for our Conclave. Sister Bea loaded the pipe with something called "Salvia" something-or-other. She said it's from a variety of sage that was used by Shamen for rituals. Whatever. We all took a hit. A couple minutes later, with no warning, Saint Snow Cone started going into some sort of seizure! He was hunched over, stamping his feet, and babbling like he was talking in tongues. He looked frightened but couldn't tell us what was wrong. He didn't seem drunk, wasn't bleeding, was not nodding out, and wasn't grabbing his chest like a heart attack. Karin and I held him and talked him down. It took a few minutes, but he finally came back to reality to explain what happened. He said it was not an unpleasant experience, but he just wasn't expecting it. I predict there that as soon as some silly little girl freaks out on Salvia inside a club the media is going to jump all over this story. Right now it is sold over-the-counter at the little smoke shops in the Castro, so be careful!
So, the big day finally arrived - Folsom Street Fair! Most of the conversation from the weekend revolved around what each other was going to wear at Folsom Fair. Retardo The Wonderfuck, still a baby-nun, is still all excited about pursuing his new hobby - drag. For him and all the out of town nuns that only dress up once in a while, Folsom Fair is a big deal fashion-wise.
This time, I succombed to a bit of a "costume", pulled out an outfit I hadn't ever worn before, and viola - I'm a pirate! Arrrgh! It got old really quick, particularly since I mostly got attention from kids. Cute guys get turned off by costumes that are too cartoony. I hate being a clown, that's why I don't dress as a nun anymore. The only "costume" that really works at these events are those full-body suits made out of muscle - like the COLT guys wear.
And speaking of COLT Studio, after stopping by the Raging Stallion booth and the Hot House booth, I made a point of visiting COLT, but not for the porn stars. Fuck the porn stars, I wanted to meet Derek and Romaine from Sirius OutQ!
I emailed Derek and Romaine during the week to introduce myself and to try to get interviewed on their radio show, but got no response. When I met them in person, I got a bit of a chilly reaction, too. Odd. Maybe it was the pirate outfit. (Damn that rape-and-pillage reputation!) Or maybe I came on too strong as a shameless self promoter. (Note to self: think before you speak, especially when you're cranked up on pot brownies.) I still hope to get on their show if I haven't already ruined my reputation from the first impression.
To make up for my lukewarm first impression in front of Derek and Romaine, I made sure to take lots of pictures of them on stage with two COLT models. But wouldn't you know, I made another faux pas that will surely alienate Derek and give fuel to Romaine. I was taking a picture of the Sirius OutQ poster on stage and caught Derek's feet in the shot. When I went through the pictures, it struck me - oh oh, Derek is wearing brown shoes with black leather chaps. Eeeek. I think the fashion police should have written him a citation! I predict at least 15 minutes of banter just about brown shoes and black chaps!
But back to the other booths. At the Raging Stallion booth I got the pleasure of meeting their new "Hairy Boyz" superstar Hussein. Woof! He is quite a tight little package! I started snapping pictures fast in fear that he was just a dream that was about to float away! I'll think he'll be around a while, though, so I look forward to seeing more of him. I also got to see Manuel Torres again, but I don't think he remembered me from the last Raging Stallion party where we started to get a little friendly. I don't think he even knows it yet, but his site will be sponsoring Lavender Lounge Blog soon, so please patronize ManuelTorres.com!
I also got some great shots of the gay porn stars at the Hot House booth. Retardo has had a little crush on Jason Ridge ever since the Bad Boys Pool Party (can you blame him?), so I got him Jason Ridge's autograph. That's Nick Piston on the left with Jason Ridge, another six pack I'd love to lick!
For those of you who don't know the drill yet, I shoot tons of photos at events like Folsom Fair and build galleries in the VIP Room of Lavender Lounge. With 540 photos from JUST the 2005 Folsom Street Fair, that's only four cents a photo to become a VIP member of Lavender Lounge! But with a VIP membership, you get access to all my event photos, my Dirty Pictures galleries, the Groovy Guys vintage gay porn galleries, Muscle Bear Cub galleries, thousands of videos, yada yada yada. Join now!
Isn't that the sexiest penis you've ever seen???! I'm getting hard just looking at it. Just imagine putting that thing in your mouth! Gay men WORSHIP those things, especially because it's still got it's foreskin! I can certainly see why. Yum, doesn't this make you horny, baby? Isn't this what gay porn is all about? Oh, but wait. If it was a penis from a gay porn star, they would have shaved the balls...
Excuse me while I toss my cookies....
Okay, I'm back now. This photo came from a company in St. Petersburg, Russia that harvests body parts from cadavers and sells them to medical schools. They are all preserved by polymeric embalming. Part of the sales pitch is:
-They are non-toxic
-They do not have any odor
-They retain the natural shape and color of organs
-They are extremely demonstrative and can be studied both visually and manually (touching)
-They have a long "shelf life"
-They do not require any hermetic or special containers
-They have superior mechanical properties and wear-resistance
-Most importantly, they are very economical for school budgets
-And they are damn sexy!
“Due to polymeric embalming Anatomy becomes a science, which brings a true esthetic pleasure from studying one of the most perfect masterpieces of Nature – a human body.â€
Dr. Dmitriy Starchik
"...a true esthetic pleasure..."? I told you it was sexy!
http://www.anatomia.ru/eng/viscerology.html
So now that you are all hot and bothered by that lovely big cock, you need to join that veeery exclusive members only club, 
The School Board of the State of Kansas is currently in a debate over whether public school teachers will be forced to include "Intelligent Design" (aka "Creationism") as a viable alternative to the "theory" of Evolution, because you know, Evolution is JUST a theory...
In response, the 
Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful
to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have
evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the
universe. None of us, of course, were around to see
it, but we have written accounts of it. We have
several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His
power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there
are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be
very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are
not substantiated by observable evidence. What these
people don’t understand is that He built the world to
make us think the earth is older than it really is.
For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating
process on an artifact. He finds that approximately
75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission
to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is
approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of
Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our
scientist does not realize is that every time he makes
a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there
changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We
have numerous texts that describe in detail how this
can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He
is of course invisible and can pass through normal
matter with ease.
I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your
students are taught this alternate theory. It is
absolutely imperative that they realize that
observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying
Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to
teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit,
which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot
stress the importance of this enough, and
unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must
be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too
long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry
if we don’t.
You may be interested to know that global warming,
earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters
are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of
Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have
included a graph of the approximate number of pirates
versus the average global temperature over the last
200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically
significant inverse relationship between pirates and
global temperature.
In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear
our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the
importance of teaching this theory to your students.
We will of course be able to train the teachers in
this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your
response, and hope dearly that no legal action will
need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to
the time when these three theories are given equal
time in our science classrooms across the country, and
eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent
Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti
Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture
based on overwhelming observable evidence.
Sincerely Yours,
Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.
P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him
creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we
are all His creatures.
