“A duck, a gorilla, and George W. Bush walk into a bar...” About a month ago, JC Adams was the first to announce Carnaval as AMG’s latest foray into hardcore Brazilian porn. At the time, he wrote that the set up to the film’s final scene sounded like, well, a joke. The scene in question is a masked ménage a trois between three Brazilian studs disguised as a duck, a gorilla, and George W. Bush. Admittedly, we set ourselves up for the jokes. “A duck, a gorilla, and George W. Bush walk into a bar...” “What do a duck, a gorilla and George W. Bush have in common?” The possibilities really are endless, which is why we’ve created the Carnaval Poke ‘n’ Joke Contest. Here’s How it Works: Starting Tuesday, April 1, 2008 contestants are encouraged to submit their best dirty jokes about the current President of the United States to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . As the jokes roll in, we’ll post the best and worst to the AMG blog along with commentary from our panel of judges. We will accept entries up until Thursday, May 1, 2008, at which time we here at AMG will narrow the competition down to the top 10 jokes. The 10 finalists will then be judged on a list of three criteria by a team of the dirtiest online personalities. Joanne Cachapero from Xbiz, John D. at Fleshbot, Heather Riley from Box Magazine, Jack Shamama at Gay Porn Blog, Mark Adams of Videoview, and Lavender Lounge over lord, Mark Kliem (that's ME!) will submit their individual assessments of each entry based on the following criteria: laugh-ability, filthiness, and quote-ability. Jokes will be rated on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being the highest. Scores will then be tallied here at AMG headquarters and the winner will be announced on the AMG blog one week after the contest ends. All entries that refer to George W Bush and have a decidedly filthy spin will be considered. If you fancy yourself a real funny guy, feel free to up the ante and write one that uses all three of our masked men ¬– a duck, a gorilla, and George W. Bush. If your joke is selected as one of the top ten, we’ll give you an immediate 5-point advantage. Send all entries to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , with your full name (no pseudonyms please), mailing address, preferred e-mail address, and answer. Prizes: 1st Place: A signed copy of Carnaval, a signed Carnaval poster, and the entire AMG Brazil library (13 DVDS in total). 2nd Place: A signed copy of Carnaval, a signed Carnaval poster, and a copy of the GAYVN award winning, Amazônia: Capture & Release. 3rd Place: A signed copy of Carnaval. MORE AMG BRASIL: GAY VIDEO CAFE - MALEFLIXXX.TV - AMG STORE

Boris & Nadir, E3 HD in English: end of night
Uploaded by studiopresse

When they did the last season of Sex In the City, critics said the girls were all getting a little too long in the tooth for the "Sex" part. Well, someone went with that premise and cast Bea Arthur as Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) along with other old "classics" Sally Struthers, Katherine Hellman, and Charlotte Raye. There's also a surprise cameo as Mr. Big (who knew he was still alive...) Watch for the Metamucil Cosmo.

Google me this, Google me that. Google me with cum that goes splat.

Here's a little sample of video and stills from Easter 2008 featuring the Hunky Jesus Contest and random cute guys with their shirts off in the crowd. More photos available in the Lavender Lounge VIP Room.

Watch the sample video of Easter 2008, the Sister's 29th Anniversary.

I forgot how many years the Sisters have been doing their big public Easter celebrations, but this one was certainly BIG. I have never seen Dolores Park so full of people. Not for SF Mime Troupe, not for political demonstrations, not even the entire time I lived on 20th Street overlooking the park from my bay window. Every inch of the park was jammed with people having a good time. I case you're wondering, no, I did not put on warpaint myself. I tried that a couple years ago, and did not enjoy it in the least. Public manifestation is for other Sisters, not me anymore. My talents and interests are best utilized behind the scenes. My contribution to the event is to photograph the nuns who ARE brave enough to put themselves out on the front lines, and believe me, it does take a lot of courage. Plus, by being unencumbered and more mobile in civilian clothes, I am able to get better shots - especially candid shots of cute guys with their shirts off. My other contribution this year was assisting a camera crew from the PBS show, "In The Life". Mark Huestis, local film maker and event producer, was hired to produce a segment on the Sisters, and decided to hold off till Easter to get the best footage. The "In The Life" footage is expected to air sometime in October. I also interacted with a film crew from Logo TV that is doing a reality show about the gay basketball team, the Rocketdogs. They got footage of the team playing a game at the park and followed up up to the festivities. Unfortunately, being bigger network show, they were hampered with having to get performance releases on everybody, so they didn't bother getting much footage of the Sisters themselves. It was a beautiful day and pleasantly warm but the sun was still beating down. I wish I could have gotten up on stage and announced that we need, "less shirts - more skin!", but it WAS a family event... The Easter Bonnet contest was won by a really cute muscle boy who went with the Easter-inspired theme of "GYM Bunny". His tall, trim physique actually won him the prize, but not without the added humor of his artfully designed hat adorned with Muscle Milk, bodybuilding suppliments and styrofoam dumb bells. Everyone's favorite part of the Sisters' Easter In The Park is always the Hunky Jesus Contest. Every year we are amazed by what the kids come up with for new and improved blasphemy. Some of the standouts were the guys who confused the theme of the contest and thought it was "Hunky Cheeses" instead of "Hunky Jesus", the identical twin Jesuses, the Double Cross Jesus (two guys, two attached pink crosses), and Easter with the Sisters wouldn't be complete without at least one Naked Jesus, and we had two this year. One group effort had a couple yummy bubble butt Jesuses (or Jesi) in matching rainbow jockey shorts that flashed the audience. They were adorable, and my favorite act, but if I am not mistaken, I think they were the same group that splattered me with fake blood! Both cameras got stained, plus my outfit will probably have to be thrown away. Like I said, I'm not sure it was the same group, but their "act" did not make it to the final round despite how cute they were. The winner of the Hunky Jesus contest was called Michaelangelo's Jesus, who also had a very cute butt, with plenty of crack showing. Plus, he and could do the splits. Another bit of trivia about Michaelangelo's Jesus is that he lost to Pogo Stick Jesus last year, but my friend Eric took him home and had sex with Jesus - on Easter! I am sure you horny guys reading this gay porn blog don't give a damn about seeing pictures of drag nuns, and certainly wouldn't pay to see them, so I made a special gallery of photos with JUST the cute shirtless guys and put it in the VIP Room of Lavender Lounge. You can join for as little as $12.95 for a week's worth of Easter "baskets" and all the gay porn you can eat. EASTER PHOTOS: CUTE GUYS SHIRTLESS - DRAG QUEENS AND NUNS

Sister Zsa Zsa, The Porno Nun, speaks to the gay porn industry on the subject of barebacking. It's not the usual safe sex / condom-only message sent out by the Sisters or safe sex proponents, but there are a lot of stubborn people who won't listen until you can find a way to meet on common ground. I think there are opportunities to change the behavior of bareback studios and the customers who buy their products, but we speak to them on their terms without demonizing them. Please leave your comments. More episodes of The Epistle are available at LavenderLoungeVideoBlog.com. If you would like to share these videos or post them to your website or blog, the embed code and direct link code is readily available at Lavender Lounge Video Blog.

Every spring, the adult online industry meets for their favorite convention of the year, the Phoenix Forum. I hadn't planned on going, but last week I received a call inviting me to be on a panel discussing the subject of barebacking in the gay porn industry. I really shook things up at a couple recent conventions by getting the gay porn industry to start talking about risky behavior on porn websites and in porn movies. Nobody wanted to talk about it, no one had any statistics about sales, and there is still a very distinct line drawn between bareback studios and condom-only studios. You can read my earlier blog items related to my harm reduction and safe sex messages to the gay porn industry: - GayVN Summit in February 2007 -Sister Zsa Zsa's Epistle To The Gay Porn Industry in October 2007 -My presentation of The Epistle at the GayVN Retreat also in October 2007. As result of shaking things up, I got nominated for "Most Interesting Person of the Year" by Vidio View, and nominated for "GLBT Online Company of the Year" by Xbiz Magazine. I think I can be safe to say "I made a difference" and possibly changed the industry. Like I said, in all the porn conventions I attended, the word "bareback" was never uttered till I brought it up. Whether or not my efforts had anything to do with it, here are some changes that have occurred this year: -At least one barebacking studio announced they will be testing their models. -Chi Chi LaRue created a beautiful safe sex Public Service Announcement, SafeSexIsHotSex.com". -Steve Cruz, Raging Stallion's Man of the Year, has started a safe sex website, HowIRoll.info. -The first ever panel on the subject of Barebacking in gay porn is scheduled at the Phoenix Forum next week. -Just Us Boys Magazine gave a half page blurb on Sister Zsa Zsa's Epistle (see above).

You might have read my earlier report of Michael Lucas visiting Israel and making a big splash in the mainstream media while he was there. He made it back safe and sound and sent me a package of souvenirs from his trip - a picture frame, a handwritten note on a postcard from modern Jerusalem, and the picture you see on the right. It is a vintage postcard of what looks like a very fey Egyptian or Moroccan boy with a flower behind his ear. (It looks disturbingly similar to Jake Deckard, too.) Micheal's note said it was from the 1960's, but I think it's much older. There was also another greeting card made from a very old photo of an even younger Middle Eastern boy with giant hoop earrings and a scarf over his head. (Looks a little too young to put on this site, even though it's just a face shot...) I wonder, just how gay are the men in the Middle East? I remember a joke at the beginning of the Afghan War that went something like, "Even birds flying over Kabul have to cover their ass with one wing." I assume that Lucas shot some gay porn footage while in Israel, and I look forward to seeing more fresh new models from all over the Middle East, a very foreign part of the world to most Americans. Taboos always make sex hotter, and gay Middle Eastern men, especially having sex in uniform, would be a big turn-on. In the meantime, Lucas Entertainment also sent me Budapest V, with the Mangiatti Twins (I love twins!), and Auditions 22, with local San Francisco boy, Wolf Hudson. Please buy some movies or Video on Demand so I can take a fabulous trip, too! LUCAS ENTERTAINMENT: DVD STORE - VIDEO ON DEMAND