You saw it, now you can't un-see it.

Previously

Which Simpson Is Gay?

Simpsons Sky

Oh lordy, I did NOT need to see Andy in ripped underwear. However, you need to see it.

Now you can't un-see it.

NOW OPEN YOUR EYES AND CLICK HERE

The one & only Justin Bond performed to a loving audience of over 1000 on Valentine's Day 2010 at San Francisco's Castro Theatre. "I'll Never Fall In Love Again" was the 2nd Act opener of the Carpenters tribute show "Marc Huestis Presents JUSTIN BOND: CLOSE TO YOU. " The band was under the musical direction of Lance Horne, (also on keyboards) with Ben Prince on 2nd keyboard, Peter Fogel on guitar, Matt Aranoff on bass, David Finch on trombone & strings, Evan Francis on flute, Niel Levonius on trumpet, Matt Swindells on drums, & Julie Garnye on back-up vocals. Sound by Randall Schiller Productions. Videography by Mark Kliem (yours truly!), Jeff Dinnell & Marc Huestis. Edited by Marc Huestis.

And yes, I did the close-up camera on stage right. As you'll notice, my camera was the only one that got the colors right! (His dress is supposed to be pink, not gold.) Though I missed all the activities surrounding Bear Week, going to that show turned out to be like a high school (emphasis on "high") reunion with all my club kid friends from the 1990's.

After the show, the Sisters sainted Justin Bond at the VIP reception, and the first thing Justin wrote on Facebook the next day was "... it was the greatest honor of my life."

I ducked out of the reception early and met friends next door at the Twin Peak bar. Lo and behold an hour later Justin Bond held court right next to us at the bar! It was nice to catch up with him, and we may have a little project in the works when he returns to San Francisco in a few weeks!

The big, straight college jocks living at the Fratpad play a game of Twister. But of course, it's played with nude men and somehow Naked Twister turns into Sexual Twister. How did that happen? Join Fratpad to find out!

Sample shots after the jump.

Click Here To See More At Fratpad

I don't know who "The Gayes" are or where they come from but the photos are to die for! The matching vintage kitsch powder blue bell-bottomed pants are only superseded by the bell-bottomed sleeves!  

I'm guessing they were Sweden's second-rate copy cat version of Abba. But where are they now, and more importantly, does anyone care? 

Oh, the 70's, how I miss that time of fashion experimentation when taking a risk really meant taking risk. Not all fashion experiments succeed, as we can see here, but I'll bet the gangbangs in the tour bus made it all worthwhile.

GANGBANGS - VINTAGE KITSCH

I really enjoyed the premier of the second season of Ru Paul's Drag Race last night. You can tell the show was a success because they've upgraded the studio, made a larger stage and it overall "feels" like a bigger show. Even the work room looks like an actual studio of some sort and not just a garage.

Ru Paul has stolen so much from Project Runway, and with the lackluster finalists from the last season of that show, I think Ru Paul is really more likely to strike a home run. Why do people watch either show? For the drama and the fabulousness. Talk about drama! In the "Untucked" portion that followed the main show, those queens backstage were dishing each other to dirt, and even figuring out who they think are the hottest as boys, too. 

The classic line from "Untucked" would have to be, "I am gonna fuck you up! Bitch, I am from Chicago!"

Enjoy the video above made by some desk jockey wannabe queens that work at Logo. Apparently, Ru Paul is the burst of excitement that network has been hoping for. And in my opinion, everything you loved about Project Runway is done better and funnier on Drag Race.

They also brought in Chris March from Project Runway to comment , but he didn't have much to say. Coincidentally, I just got his book this weekend, too. Come to find out there are a lot of photos of a deceased friend, Michael Benbrook, who also worked with Chris March at Beach Blanket Babylon.

I am trying to erase the image of a coconut being shoved up a butt, however, I'm sure plenty of guys get turned on by the idea. If someone has already tried putting a coconut up a guy's butt, I'm sure it was one of the evil geniuses from either Titan, Hot House or Kink.com. Do me a favor and check out those websites and report back to me.

Fans of gothic cartoonist Edward Gorey created fancy dress ball years ago to celebrate the unique imagery that's hard to describe unless you see it. The "Edwardian Ball" is not so much about style of British royalty of the early 20th century, but more about the imaginary world of an eccentric artist, Ed Gorey.

Who the hell is Ed Gorey? Gorey has become an iconic figure in the Goth subculture. Events themed on his works and decorated in his characteristic style are common in the more Victorian-styled elements of the subculture, notably the costumed Edwardian costume balls held annually in San Francisco and Los Angeles, which include performances based on his works. The "Edwardian" in this case refers less to the Edwardian period of history than to Gorey himself, whose characters are depicted as wearing fashion styles ranging from those of the mid-19th century to the 1930s.

He might be best known for the opening titles of the PBS series Mystery! is based on Gorey's art, in an animated sequence. (Oh, now I know who he is!)

I attended the Ball with a group of more fashion-forward Sisters and the event was awesome. Though upon entry I was inform by security that photos would only be allowed withOUT flash, I managed to create over 100 art pieces of my own. They are currently available for viewing by VIP Members of Lavender Lounge and

Vintage Bareback. (Join one site, and passwords work for both.)

Fire up your "electric friendship generators" and make sure you follow the rules. You wouldn't want anyone to label you as a Communist.

I see these giant dildos on websites and porn store and wonder, who USES these things? How do you get that thing inside you, and even if you did stretch your hole enough, what happens to your insides?

Well, my questions were answered when I saw this video. It took a very skinny guy with a flexible asshole and a lot of (ahem) guts to illustrate this physiology experiment. When you shove a piece of rubber the length of your arm up your bum, it doesn't just disappear.  So THAT'S where it goes!

I saw this on a discussion board of other gay porn webmasters - a group of people who previously thought they've seen it all. Most of them even thought is was over the line and gross. Naturally, the only pornographers who thought it was "hot" were the ones in the sex toy business. Below are comments from other pornographers:

-"Wow! That's pretty graphic! After working in this biz for a while it's hard to find things that still make you squirm, but that did it! YIKES!"

-"That weird clicking noise on the video while seeing a lump in his upper abdomen when it's far in really is too much. There are videos of guys being drastically fisted that are much sexier. He doesn't have an ugly body, but the whole thing is just too creepy."

-"I was expecting the little "Alien" head to burst out of his abdomen"

-"I wish I had finished my chocolate pop tart long before watching this. It is now in little chunks in the toilet."

Ugh. After seeing that video, I think I'm going to throw away any kind of anal sex toy I own, become a Republican, and join the Mormon church...

MORE HOT DILDO ACTION

A few months ago I took my 8mm projector and some movies to a dinner party. After a lovely meal with a group of gay men, I pointed the projector at the wall and showed the movie, "Sex Salad". The retro-cool angle of pulling out a Deco style steel and Bakelite antique gadget is, in itself a fun parlor trick. The fact that the images projected were kinky XXX rated gay porn only added to it. The audience was rolling on the floor laughing at this movie - a better reaction than I ever would have imagined.

Showing a movie after dinner on with Blu-Ray disc on giant flat screen is so passe it's almost automatic. Marshall McLuhan was right about film as a "hot" medium and television as a "cool" medium. The simple act of projecting a 30 year old movie onto a wall versus looking at the TV on the opposite wall made the simple act of watching instantly more engaging.

But back to the movie itself, "Sex Salad" was an obscure movie that has been sort of "lost" over the years. Long before Johnny Knoxville and his gang started performing "Jackass" style hi-jinx, (actually before those boys were born...), the unknown film maker did a small series of kinky videos that were more slapstick than sensual. There has always been an underlying vein of humor associated with porn, and most attempts at piercing through that thin veil are unsuccessful or unintentionally funny. The makers of "Sex Salad" knew they were creating comedy, but tried their best to keep it straight-faced and butch.

So what's so funny about "Sex Salad"? It's the inventive ways to use food as sex toys. Rather than just shove a cucumber up a guy's ass, they went to the trouble of coring out the inside of the cucumber for the top to wear over his dick to fuck someone in the ass. The hard-shell waxy skin of a cucumber makes a great green prosthetic dick and the extra wide thickness of it pleases the hungry bottom, actually giving new meaning to "hungry bottom".

But the cucumber is not the only vegetable exploiting in "Sex Salad". Carrots, tomatoes, celery, olives and lettuce are also subjected to acts of debauchery. Butt fucking with a bright red Beefsteak tomato worn as a cock ring is a sight to see! But the crowd pleaser when showing this movie to an audience is watching a dozen olives get shoved up a guy's ass only to have them spit out again and landing on another guy's face! Showing that scene will spice up any dull dinner party!

Before I get too analytical and pretentious (Did I really bring up McLuhan in a porn review?), I should talk about the men in this movie. In a word - HOT! In order of appearance, there is a hairy muscle daddy with a beard, followed by a shapely pretty boy with a perfect v-shaped torso and furry chest, and a smooth twink with a pre-Emo haircut that proudly matches the length of girth of his cock with that of a fat, juicy cucumber. For me, the burnt-orange shag carpet and red brocade curtains play a role just as important as the men themselves, but that's just my twisted sense of humor.

A well-orchestrated fetish sex comedy needs a boffo show-stopping finale, and this one truly delivers. The hunky three-some stand over a salad bowl of Romaine lettuce and tomatoes and shoot their loads into a tasty, though slightly salty, Bukaake Salad. The epilogue shows the boys fully clothed in period wear of the mid-1970's serving the "Sex Salad" to guests at their own dinner party.

If your dinner guests are beyond Martha Stewart, Paula Dean or Rachel Ray recipes and you need to get the conversation going, fire up VintageBareback.com and show them a bit of "Sex Salad". The party will either turn into a sloppy sex orgy, or they'll go home early and give you some private time to watch more porn. 

USE YOUR LAVENDER LOUNGE VIP MEMBERSHIP AT VINTAGEBAREBACK.COM

JOIN NOW TO SEE MORE SEX SALAD

Last night I attended the Cockettes 40th Anniversary screening of their three films, "Palace", "Tricia's Wedding" and "Elevator Girls In Bondage" at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. I own a copy of "Elevator Girls In Bondage" but I had never seen either of the others. I was there mostly because it's an important step culturally for the drugged out, crazy drag theater troupe to be honored at a prestigious art venue like MOMA. I also wanted a chance to see hosts Justin Bond and Lady Miss Kier.

"Palace" gives what I believes is an accurate portrayal of the crazy spirit of the Cockettes, at least from the perspective an an urban legend. Shot in black and white with an unmatched soundtrack added, the film itself is representation of experimental, underground film making of the period. It showed backstage preparation, applying makeup, audience arriving, making costumes, a lot of nudity and drinking, and disjointed clips of the disjointed stage performance. It told no story, made no sense, but it was just fun to watch.

"Tricia's Wedding" was a popular short in the Midnight Movie circuit that poked fun at the real life event of Tricia Nixon's White House wedding. The copy we saw was beautifully restored in vivid color and perfect sound.

Years before Saturday Night Live made their mark lampooning celebrities in the news, "Tricia's Wedding", had drag queens impersonating all the political and cultural icons of the day that were (or were not) in attendance at the White House wedding. A highlight was soon-to-be disco diva Sylvester playing Coretta King singing a spiritual.  

Shot in two days with no rehearsal and a vague concept of a script, if a similar version were created today it would get lost in the shuffle on YouTube and forgotten in a matter of weeks. That it survived 40 years to be honored at MOMA is a tribute to it groundbreaking uniqueness and audacity. 

During the Q&A with the director, we discovered that "Tricia's Wedding" was actually secretly screened at the Nixon White House to determine if the FBI needed to further investigate the Cockettes for subversive or un-American activity.

"Elevator Girls In Bondage" is the feature length movie starring Rumi (below), the self-appointed archivist of the Cockettes and the driving force behind keeping the name alive. He's been touring the country hosting screenings and perpetuating the name. He was also instrumental in launching the stage revival of "Pearls Over Shanghai" here in San Francisco. I wrote about it months ago, and the production has continued it's open-ended run. With talented cast and actual rehearsals (imagine it!) the brilliance of the work can finally be appreciated. What a perfect way to spend your retirement years. Really.

Got any hog joints?

COCKETTES WIKIPEDIA - YOUTUBE ELEVATOR GIRLS - PEARLS OVER SHANGHAI

Ah, how the mighty have fallen. Has Tom Wolfe, author of "Bonfire of the Vanities" and "Electric Koolaid Acid Test" now resorted to working in gay porn? I guess not, given that the author Tom Wolfe is 78 years old. The hairy chested blond hunk you see giving Conner Habib The Right Stuff would be more likely his grandson. Or worse, nobody at Massive Studios made the connection that the name might be confused with a famous American author. Maybe they're preparing for a series of gay porn parody movies:

"Blowjob of the Vanities"

"Electric Koolaid Asses Test"

"Homoerotic Koolaid Acid Testes"

Here's what Massive Studios did have to say about this pairing:

I love all my hot Massive models, especially big bruisers like Tom Wolf who right now is on a roll. I threw him into this scene with Connor Habib and they are ideally matched. Like the good piggie-in-training that he is, Conner proved himself to be the perfect foil for tough guy Tom. They fed off each other’s lust and energy in one of the more intense match-ups I’ve ever caught on film, and thank God for that. None of us wanted the action to end when it did, and I know that right afterwards, they were chompin’ at the bit, eager for a rematch.

Massive Studios

Gives new meaning to beating your meat. Have a kinky Thanksgiving!

Halloween is long over, so did my little buddy Jeff at Str8Cam.com decide to do with the left over pumpkin? Hmm? Oh, I guess I'll just cut a hole and stick my dick in it! 

He is such a cuddly little muscle bear cub, I am fascinated by anything he does. He could read the phone book naked and I'd be enthralled. (Better not give him any ideas...)

Join his website and you can see free video preview of the pumpkin fucking scene at his website. He does a lot of updates and they are often quite creative, but the real appeal of his site is to watch his live shows. Tell him Lavender Lounge sent you!

JOIN STR8CAM

The groundbreaking morning radio team of Fernando and Greg are going to return to Bay Area radio on November 12 at 99.7FM. Their show was groundbreaking because, as far as I know, they were the only opening gay morning show in the country, and not only were they the gay morning show, the entire station was targeted toward the gay audience. And not just the music either - their old station, 92.7, made great strides to do outreach to the community promoting events, creating "Gay History Moments", and selling ads to gay owned businesses.

I'm am very glad to hear they will be back, but I just hope they haven't sent back to the closet in order to get a job. I'm listening to the new station right now and in the first five minutes it sounds like one of those hip hop stations that makes me want to vomit, but stations often adjust the whole programming to fit the morning show lead-in. But if Greg changes his moniker from "Greg The Gay Sportscaster" to "Greg The Ambiguous Sportscaster", it just won't have the same impact. Time will tell.

The Sisters hosted the Beer Bust at the Eagle yesterday and to get everyone in the Halloween spirit, we held a little pumpkin painting contest. But, to make a little more fun, we hand-selected a group of the cutest butts at the Eagle to have contestants draw pumpkins on naked butts! It was a smart move to hand-select rather than ask for volunteers. That way there was more quality control, and the result was some beautiful bare asses on stage, even before they got painted.

The wining ass belonged to a tall blond muscle boy with a perfectly round bubble butt. I got some shots of him from the front, too, and it was apparent he was getting a bit of a woody by standing on stage exposing his backside. There were also some young hairy mixed race alternative types in the contest, one husky bear cub and the surprise was an appearance by porn star daddy Nick Moretti.

If you want to see photos of just the nuns from the Butt Painting Contest, visit SisterZsaZsa.com (don't worry, its' FREE!), but the butt pictures AND video are only available to VIP Members of Lavender Lounge.

HALLOWEEN PUMPKIN BUTT-PAINTING CONTEST: PREVIEW - JOIN

I am titling this blog entry "Halloween 2009 Part One" because it's my long standing tradition to dress up for Halloween several times during the Halloween season and there will probably be lots more amazing pictures to come. With that in mind, I decided at the last minute to save my good costume for next week and pulled out an alternate outfit instead. (I actually have plenty of costumes on hand that have never been seen before. ) It was a purple and silver vinyl Judy Jetson mini dress with a spikey wig that was black on one side and silver on the other. I called it "An 80's Version of a 50's Sci Fi Movie".

Last night was a private party at Steve and Ed's house. They're two nice boys who happen to be witches and they invited their coven to celebrate All Hallows Eve (a week early). The plan was to start early and then march down to the Castro as a group, which was fun. 

The boyfriend had been in Sister habit all day, then went home, washed it all off, then put on  a completely different face for the evening. He went as the gay character from Mad Men, Salvator Romano, but did Sal as a zombie. (He loves being a zombie.)

Last year for Halloween I went as a 70's porn star and stuck a sock in my pants. It was pretty obvious it was a sock in my pants, and I even told people it was a sock in my pants. With that said, it still amazes me how shallow gay men are! I got groped and fondled more I ever have in  my entire life - and it was a fake penis! So this year I decided to go all the way. I spent $80 on a leather harness to hold a strap-on dildo. The mini dress I wore flared out on it's own so you didn't even know there was a 9 inch hard cock underneath it, at least to the naked eye.

Part of my choice to wear a strap-on dildo under a dress was to conduct a social experiment. I have this theory that when it comes to big dicks, gay men have X-ray vision. Cock hounds can spot a big dick from across a crowded room, and if they are real size queens, it doesn't even matter what's attached to a big dick. The grossest looking guys with big dicks will always get more action than a cute guy with a small dick. I intend to prove my theory with this costume.

Sure enough, the first guy to notice me in costume crossing 18th and Castro said, "Hey, what's under that dress, baby?" My point was proven in the first five minutes, but it got better as the night went on. After a few drinks at the party, I introduced myself to the cutest guy there. Not only was he the cutest guy at the party, he also had a sexy French accent. In no time at all I had him sucking my rubber cock like a champ! To prove it was not a fluke, I let him do it a second time! I couldn't believe it! In normal circumstances, if I tried chatting up that hot French guy, he would have made small talk for just long enough to be polite and all the while looking over my shoulder for his chance to escape. But when you add a big dick to the mix, the whole situation changes.

Keep checking back to my blog at LavenderLounge.com for further updates on my experiment, but to see more pictures from Night One of Halloween 2009, become a VIP Member.  But if you can't wait, go ahead and join ExtraBigDicks.com. That's all you really want anyway, you superficial cock hungry size queen bitch!

CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE: HALLOWEEN PHOTOS - EXTRA BIG DICKS

Well, this ought to help you remember to change your clocks November 1. If fact, I think I need him as my alarm clock!

Friday night, Sister Mary Ralph held a fund raiser for her favorite charity, the AIDS Hospice at Laguna Honda Hospital. He worked with Anna Conda, our favorite club producer to do it at Charlie Horse at the Cinch.

Since the club is free admission, they needed to sell raffle tickets and Jello shots to raise money. They ended up bringing in $735! I guess people do love those Jello shots! Falcon Studios donated a prize package of 7 DVD's and Lavender Lounge donated DVDs of "Vintage Bareback: Hairy Muscle Daddy Collection".

I put a couple hundred pictures into a gallery at SisterZsaZsa.com, and don't worry, that site is FREE, so go ahead and click any one of the pictures to see the whole gallery.