September 26, 2005

Folsom Street Fair 2005

This year's Folsom Street Fair weekend had just too many conflicting events. I had to make some difficult choices.

It all started Friday morning when I picked up Darklady from the airport. She's a porn writer, activist, and party promoter. We talked business and I am proud to announce that Darklady will now be my newest contributor to ReelGuys.org! She will be submitting reviews of gay porn videos and bisexual videos to the ReelGuys.org database along with myself and longtime Bay Area Reporter's pron reviewer, Karr. (More on this later.) We hung out at my house and lovely chat, then went to lunch in Berkeley. Her friend that met us there turns out to be a former male porn star from straight porn back in the 1970's! He went by the name of Richard Pacheco and his most famous role was in "Talk Dirty to Me". In it, he played a mentally retarded young man who has his first sexual experience. Damn, there goes my idea for the only theme I HAVEN'T seen in gay porn - "tard porn"! I thought that I had finally found a porn theme that hadn't been done before. Proves once again everything has already been done in porn.

We went out with the Sisters on Friday night and hit South of Market with the many, many nuns that came in from out of town. While just standing around at the Lone Star, Sister Holly suddenly started vomiting right in front of us! It caught her by surprise as much as it surprised the rest of us. She blames on a hamburger she ate earlier, because someone else felt a little quesey, too.

And speaking of strange reactions - on Saturday night, the Sisters all met a Cafe Flore for our Conclave. Sister Bea loaded the pipe with something called "Salvia" something-or-other. She said it's from a variety of sage that was used by Shamen for rituals. Whatever. We all took a hit. A couple minutes later, with no warning, Saint Snow Cone started going into some sort of seizure! He was hunched over, stamping his feet, and babbling like he was talking in tongues. He looked frightened but couldn't tell us what was wrong. He didn't seem drunk, wasn't bleeding, was not nodding out, and wasn't grabbing his chest like a heart attack. Karin and I held him and talked him down. It took a few minutes, but he finally came back to reality to explain what happened. He said it was not an unpleasant experience, but he just wasn't expecting it. I predict there that as soon as some silly little girl freaks out on Salvia inside a club the media is going to jump all over this story. Right now it is sold over-the-counter at the little smoke shops in the Castro, so be careful!

So, the big day finally arrived - Folsom Street Fair! Most of the conversation from the weekend revolved around what each other was going to wear at Folsom Fair. Retardo The Wonderfuck, still a baby-nun, is still all excited about pursuing his new hobby - drag. For him and all the out of town nuns that only dress up once in a while, Folsom Fair is a big deal fashion-wise.

This time, I succombed to a bit of a "costume", pulled out an outfit I hadn't ever worn before, and viola - I'm a pirate! Arrrgh! It got old really quick, particularly since I mostly got attention from kids. Cute guys get turned off by costumes that are too cartoony. I hate being a clown, that's why I don't dress as a nun anymore. The only "costume" that really works at these events are those full-body suits made out of muscle - like the COLT guys wear.

And speaking of COLT Studio, after stopping by the Raging Stallion booth and the Hot House booth, I made a point of visiting COLT, but not for the porn stars. Fuck the porn stars, I wanted to meet Derek and Romaine from Sirius OutQ!

I emailed Derek and Romaine during the week to introduce myself and to try to get interviewed on their radio show, but got no response. When I met them in person, I got a bit of a chilly reaction, too. Odd. Maybe it was the pirate outfit. (Damn that rape-and-pillage reputation!) Or maybe I came on too strong as a shameless self promoter. (Note to self: think before you speak, especially when you're cranked up on pot brownies.) I still hope to get on their show if I haven't already ruined my reputation from the first impression.

To make up for my lukewarm first impression in front of Derek and Romaine, I made sure to take lots of pictures of them on stage with two COLT models. But wouldn't you know, I made another faux pas that will surely alienate Derek and give fuel to Romaine. I was taking a picture of the Sirius OutQ poster on stage and caught Derek's feet in the shot. When I went through the pictures, it struck me - oh oh, Derek is wearing brown shoes with black leather chaps. Eeeek. I think the fashion police should have written him a citation! I predict at least 15 minutes of banter just about brown shoes and black chaps!

But back to the other booths. At the Raging Stallion booth I got the pleasure of meeting their new "Hairy Boyz" superstar Hussein. Woof! He is quite a tight little package! I started snapping pictures fast in fear that he was just a dream that was about to float away! I'll think he'll be around a while, though, so I look forward to seeing more of him. I also got to see Manuel Torres again, but I don't think he remembered me from the last Raging Stallion party where we started to get a little friendly. I don't think he even knows it yet, but his site will be sponsoring Lavender Lounge Blog soon, so please patronize ManuelTorres.com!

I also got some great shots of the gay porn stars at the Hot House booth. Retardo has had a little crush on Jason Ridge ever since the Bad Boys Pool Party (can you blame him?), so I got him Jason Ridge's autograph. That's Nick Piston on the left with Jason Ridge, another six pack I'd love to lick!

For those of you who don't know the drill yet, I shoot tons of photos at events like Folsom Fair and build galleries in the VIP Room of Lavender Lounge. With 540 photos from JUST the 2005 Folsom Street Fair, that's only four cents a photo to become a VIP member of Lavender Lounge! But with a VIP membership, you get access to all my event photos, my Dirty Pictures galleries, the Groovy Guys vintage gay porn galleries, Muscle Bear Cub galleries, thousands of videos, yada yada yada. Join now!

Posted by lavenderlounge at 3:30 PM

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