December 2, 2005

XXXmas Bingo - Have We Gone Too Far?

I can't believe I am even saying it, but I think we have finally gone too far.

I've been involved with underground culture, the gay porn industry, radical politics, the gay rights movement, freedom of speech, and drag / transgender awareness campaigns ever since I was a mere babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger. I've been supportive of "pushing the envelope" since before there was an envelope. But, after what I saw last night, we either reached the point that we have just gone too far, or we have finally accomplished our goals as radical-progressive-wacko-hippy-faggots, and we can now go home and have ice cream since we won't be getting any in Hell.

Last night the Sisters held their monthly bingo game at the very accommodating and ultra-liberal Metropolitan Community Church (often dubbed "the gay church") in the Castro. Those witty nuns chose a clever play-on-words for their Christmas theme - XXXmas Bingo. We gathered up prizes from a few of the local gay porn purveyors such as Titan Media, Raging Stallion, Hot House, Bear Films, Good Vibrations, and of course, Lavender Lounge. Michael Brandon was our guest star who brought along some up and coming gay porn stars, plus we had the men of South of Market Bare Chest Calendar gracing the stage.

To have a group like that show up in a place like Tulsa, all they would have needed to do was show up, sign some autographs, and maybe lift their shirts to make the Okla-homos swoon. But somehow, in decadent San Francisco, we have "progressed" to the point that the show presented last night left even me feeling "dirty" when I got home.

I don't know who's idea it was, but somebody came up with the idea of auctioning off Christmas-themed underwear worn by the porn stars. Someone suggested that if the winning bid went over $50, the winner could remove the underwear with his teeth. Okay. But it gets worse. If the bid went over $100, the winner got to lick the porn star's penis.

Now step back for a minute. We've got gambling (sorry folks, Bingo IS gambling), porn movies, dildos, vibrators shaped like candy canes, naked men, profanity on the microphone, spanking, and mouth-to-genitals contact. And this was in church!

It didn't hit me until I got home that there was something very wrong about the proceedings. One of the porn stars, Derek Hanson, went home early when he found out what he was being asked to do. I called him the next day to apologize on behalf of the Sisters. "I was raised Southern Baptist," he told me, and I respect him for that. It was hard enough for me to watch, I can't imagine participating.

I am not pointing the finger at anybody for this lapse of judgment. I just think that we need to be more respectful of other people's beliefs, especially when we are their guests and we're mocking someone's most important holiday!

On the other hand, I have also noticed a trend recently where so many gay porn videos have been given away free at so many events, I can't imagine why anyone in San Francisco would need to go out and pay for porn! Just like condoms, they've given so many away over the years, I've never had to pay for one.

Have I become a prudish pornographer? Has Satan finally overtaken gawd's own house? Have insurgents with a Homeosexual Agenda completed their plan to demoralize a sacred house of worship? Decide for yourself when you look at the photos from XXXmas Bingo in the VIP Room of Lavender Lounge.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled program, "The Road To Hell Is Paved With Glitter".

Posted by lavenderlounge at 7:30 PM

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