March 20, 2007

Z-z-z-Zodiac

If you haven't seen "Zodiac", there's really no need. Sure it's pretty, and as a timepiece it's quite effective, but it's just way, WAY, too long. And since the premise of the movie deals with the real life killer, active in the late 60's and early 70's, who is still not caught, the movie doesn't really conclude anything.

And you might be thinking, I'll go se it anyway, cause that pretty-boy gay bait combination of Robert Downey Jr. / Mark Ruffalo / Jake Gyllenhaal is just so darn sexy. Need other examples? Well, Robert Downey Jr plays a major role in the amazing indie film "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints" that is available on DVD right now. Mark Ruffalo had some amazingly hot scenes, the blowjob especially, in Jane Campions "In The Cut" (2003), which is also available on DVD. And if you're in to Gyllenhaal, why don't you just re-rent "Brokeback Mountain" (who are we kidding here, you already own it...).

Here's a fun fact about Mr. Gyllenhaal. He is a descendant of a Swedish noble family! And translated, his last name would mean "golden hole". No wonder he got to be the receiver in that pup tent.

Since the humongous success of that movie, there's been so many porn variations on the title, it's actually not fun any more. "Bareback Mountain", "Bare Mountains" and "Let's Go Bareback On The Mountain" are just some of the titles trying to capitalize on Ang Lee's heartfelt sob story.

However, it seems much more original to go for classic reference if you're going to do a spoof. So let's hear it for "The Best Little Whorehouse in Tex-Ass". Now that's an amazing title if there ever was one. It doesn't star Jake Gyllenhaal, but this 2001 release does include Doug Jeffries playing giddy up with cowboys like Tanner Hayes, Matt Sizemore, Michael Brandon and Brandon James.

By Tom Ass

Posted by lavenderlounge at 12:30 PM

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