July 20, 2007

Location Scouting Disaster

We have a big shoot scheduled for Sunday, and I am really nervous about it. We're going to be shooting a pretty famous gay porn star, and I have a bit of crush on him. I'm not going to mention his name right now because I don't want to jinx it, but I've expounded about his beauty and charms on many occasions here at Lavender Lounge Blog. I can't believe he's going to be working for me! This could really give Lavender Lounge some legitimacy with the big boys for once!

So anyway, I got so excited about this big shoot coming up that I decided to try shooting some glamour shots outdoors, and remembered a decayed, urban environment in an old warehouse district on the bay. I took a long bike ride last Sunday scoping out some possible locations, so on Wednesday, I took Justin (my videographer) with me to scout the location one more time.

We drove along Illinois Street starting from the new Mission Bay project and I showed him a couple spots that turned out to be a little to pubic. I actually had a spot in mind that used to be known around here as "the cable car graveyard". Ten years ago ravers used to break into old deserted warehouses in that area to throw big rave parties until the cops clamped down on it. But at the end of 24th street is a neglected public park right on the bay that overlooked an old parking lot full of cable car and subway wreckage, hence the nickname. The hipsters and Burning Man kids all knew about it and would throw after hours shindigs out there, far from any polite neighbors.

We drove right threw a big open gate that had a small, 6 inch "No Trespassing" sign at the top of a 10 foot fence and proceeded to park the car around the corner to get out and check the scenery.

The cable car wreckage was now all gone and the building looks like some preliminary repairs had begun, but there was not a soul to see in site in any direction. We visualized dozens of dramatic angles of old buildings, rotted docks, a power plant next door, giant smokestacks, radical graffiti art (like to the right), plus views of the bay and Oakland hills. Perfect for shooting porn with a hot, edgey tattooed hunk. We spent a total of about 10 minutes to see what we needed to see, and got back in the car.

Lo and behold, when we came around the corner, the gate was locked! Stunned, we looked around to see who might have locked us in. Two cute hipster straight guys with a big camera approached the fence and asked us how they could get in. "We're trying to get OUT!" Recognizing our plight, they were kind enough ask for help at the nearest building, but to no avail, so they moved on. The huge industrial complex was abandoned for so long ago there were no indications of who it belonged to or who might have locked us in.

The entire perimeter was secure as a prison, with 10 foot razor wire fences on two sides and the bay on the other sides. There was no way to get either the car or our bodies out of there without causing major damage to something.

After about two hours of trying to flag down a human at the power plant, I finally resorted to calling the cops.

"What's your location?", the dispatcher asked.

"Um, I'm lost." I didn't even know the name of the street or the cross street, and could only see vague points of reference to identify our location. Justin saw a company name printed on a padlock and was able to Google a reference to the dead company on his cell phone, but it at least gave us an address to give to the cops. (How do these kids get to be so tech savvy?)

When the cops arrived, the dyke driving the cop car must have had pity on us because they spent the next half hour or more driving around trying to find who was in charge of locking that gate. They returned with a second dyke in a second car, and talked among themselves for quite a while assessing the situation. I feared getting a ticket or getting involved in some nasty police action, but mostly I was worried about missing the Opening Night performance of Kiki and Herb that was coming up in less than two hours!

Just as they approached the car to tell us the bad news that they were going abandon us(!) and get back to real police work, a guy in a black Prius walked up and announced he had a key!

"Who are YOU?" the black dyke asked.

He turned out to be the plant manager of the power plant on his way home. When he saw the two police cars at the gate, he decided he should find out what was going on. He could just as easily gone right home, without noticing the commotion and we would have probably been stranded all night!

I think he was expecting me to be hostile and demand to be released, but I was very vague about my reasons for being there and acted very grateful for his help. He opened the gate, the cops ran our ID's and we high-tailed it out of there a quickly as we could.

I've been doing video for a long time, and I have always preferred to plan shoots around a single familiar "home base" or studio situation, preferably MY own home. I've had to learn the hard way over and over again that shooting on location always increases your chances of unpredictable disasters ten fold. But even with numerous past location challenges, I still find myself getting back into that trap again. Will I never learn?

Stay tuned for a big announcement on Monday or Tuesday as to my newest gay porn celebrity "get". Join now to avoid the rush!

Long story short - we did see Kiki and Herb. Watch the video below, it was their finale number.

Posted by lavenderlounge at 5:58 PM

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