January 25, 2008

Hottest New Sex Club in San Francisco Is...

Let's start with a bad joke.

Did you hear about the hot new sex club in San Francisco? It's called STAPH MEETING.

Ba-dum-bump.

Last week I got really paranoid about this new MRSA staph infection going around San Francisco. Several of my friends caught it including one that has been hospitalized and required surgery.

I hang out with a group of people that see each other almost every day but act like it's been twenty years since you last saw them. Kisses on both cheeks, "Daaaarling, how aaaaare you?' Kiss kiss on both cheeks. Repeat upon exit like you're being sent off to war. Two hours later at the next bar, the cycle starts over.

That's a lot of opportunities to pass infections and I was petrified. The news media jumped on this "new gay plague" like it was some sort of new gay plague. The self-righteous Constipated Wackos of America used this opportunity to once again try to round us up into concentration camps.

I also go to the Gay Gold's Gym where everyone wears tank tops and gym shorts in the dead of winter. Lots of skin contact on benches and machines. One day I felt like using machines, but chose cardio instead because I wouldn't have to touch anything. Two days ago, as a precaution, I decided to wear long sweat pants and weightlifting gloves for extra protection. I was tempted to wear rubber gloves, too.

For a long time I've been thinking about adding rubber gloves to my gym gear just to prevent colds and flu. I predict that the new fashion accessory at gay gyms with be disposable rubber gloves. You heard it here first.

I felt better when I saw the Director of San Francisco Public Health, Dr. Mitch Katz, working out at Gay Gold's Gym with the same machines and benches as the rest of us bacteria bags - in a tank top and gym shorts. No rubber gloves, gas mask or haz-mat suit.

Today, the media is finally attempting to soften the fear-mongering. From ABC News:

"...(Dr. Daniel) Pallin, (from Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston) whose study will appear in the upcoming issue of the journal Annals of Emergency Medicine, says that despite the confirmation that a MRSA epidemic is in full swing, the disease does not pose the level of disaster that the use of the term might suggest.

'This suggests to us that this actually is an epidemic, though it is an epidemic of a minor disease, and we don't want to create hysteria," he says. "I would say that people should be concerned but maybe not afraid or worried. But a certain level of concern is appropriate.'

Pallin adds that it is also important for people to realize that MRSA can be acquired in the gym and around the home -- not just in hospitals. And he notes that even if a person suspects that he or she is infected with MRSA, such an infection is far from a death sentence.

'The majority of these conditions are skin abscesses or other conditions that are unlikely to be fatal," Pallin says. "These are really rare cases, and they make it into the news because it's alarming and it makes good press.'"

Posted by lavenderlounge at 3:42 PM

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